“Kept” first paragraph

I wrote out this graf from my script Kept in novel form to use for a UCLA homework assignment this coming week. I’m actually thinking of novelizing a few of my movie scripts, self-publishing them and selling the potboilers on the internet.

“Jorge Gomez wasn’t really paying attention to the novela, using it mostly for cover noise, as he always did. His hand shook as he fitted the blue contacts into his dark brown eyes, which would make him look exotic, or at least like a Brazilian. He checked out the deal in the mirror tacked up between the upper and lower bunk. Nicely compact and smooth, nobody would know he’d just been standing in his momma’s double-wide in Indio and not in a hotel lobby a half block from the beach at Ipanema. Reaching under the mattress, he grabbed his drivers license with the name “George Gomes”, the four twenty dollar bills, and shoved the beefcake magazine “Macho” – which showed a cover of a naked blond gringo with a big fat dick – further back toward the wall.”

Is this Jorge, or is this George?

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~ by jimarnoldla on January 23, 2010.

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